Icons Embroidered Hat

*You have acquired a Rare Cosmetic Item!*
Embroidered Dad Hat: this headpiece depicts three sacred symbols of survival:
- Carl’s Heart Boxers: a reminder that dignity is temporary, but poor life choices are forever.
- Princess Donut: resplendent in her goggles and crown, gazing in judgement upon the world.
- Mongo: present, loyal, and absolutely appalled.
Wearing this item does not increase armor, agility, or intelligence, but it does broadcast to allies and enemies alike that you have survived emotional damage, questionable AI decisions, and at least one catastrophic boss fight involving a cat.

*Product features*
- High-quality embroidered design (not printed)
- Unstructured, low-profile 6-panel body for everyday comfort
- Precurved Permacurv® visor with matching underbill and 4-row topstitching
- 100% cotton shell (green camo variant blended) with sewn-in label and brand sticker on visor
- Self-fabric hideaway strap with antique brass buckle and grommet for adjustable fit
- Ventilated eyelets on each panel; adult sizing (not for ages 0–3)

*No AI*
This was designed by me, a human artist.